Camera Obscura

Excuse the lazy Hornbyesque listing but I’m still a little stiff after the recent switch from Tourbus Heaven to Cramper Van Notheaven. In no particular order of significance, and for almost no reason whatsoever…

1. No matter what I wear – old or new, sharp or shabby, age-appropriate or youthful – I’ll always look quite like a policeman.

2. I’ll never be any great shakes with bar chords.

3. I spend so much time not speaking in company that I’ve almost forgotten how. Time to remedy that. I don’t want to be one of those people who waits around to be entertained; I’m not magnetic enough to gamble on it. But building your part up, whatever you do, is always risky.

4. I’m glad you can get espressos at the coffee tents in some festivals. Big lattes are a bad idea just before going onstage. As are big whiskies.

5. I shouldn’t swear in interviews. Swearing can be big and clever, but not when prompted.

6. The Micro-narcissism of Twitter doesn’t always satisfy. Hence this. (And fewer people check this, so I can get away with babbling more shite)

7. I’ve often made a situation better by apologising when I’m not in the wrong.

8. The girls in the band have Macbooks. The boys have PCs. I hope that means we’ve got Charlie Brooker on our side.

9. The little ‘uns in our band have occasionally commented that tall people get too much unwarranted respect. While that may be true, the trade-off is that the shortarses get more leg room.

10. I’m not one for bigging up multinationals, but I will say this: travel on the M6 has been downgraded from Hell to Purgatory by the presence of Marks and Spencer at roadside services.

Self-serving wordspew over.